Child Inclusion in Mediation

Why listen to children and include them in mediation?

Source Mathilda Smit

Research has shown that we may help children cope more effectively with the divorce experience in listening respectfully to them, being willing to seriously consider and integrate their ideas, and helping them feel more empowered at a time of great upheaval, anxiety, and change. It is also important to actively seek to facilitate the often unspoken developmental agendas of the children affected by the dispute because children have something important to tell us that may change the decisions we make on their behalf and the way in which we make them (McIntosh et al.2008:105). In the past professionals have largely been unable to obtain data directly from children of divorce so that judges were forced to rely on adult interpretations of children’s needs and interests. “There are healing possibilities inherent in the mediation process, and to involve the child is to embrace what is meant by the word family and provides the parents and the child with an opportunity to begin the reorganization of their two unique families in new healthier, and happier ways” (Sanchez & Kibler-Sanchez, 2004:572).
 
When children are included in mediation, specialized skills and resources are needed in order to take the greatest advantage of their participation. It is important that participation does not enhance their pain or anxiety but maximizes the benefits. When done in a sensitive and appropriate manner by a trained professional the inclusion of the child can add meaningful information for obtaining developmentally sensitive child-focused agreements.